yeah. you wouldn't have to think about anything but whose butt to sniff and when your next treat is coming. you wouldn't even have to be a smart dog that knows tricks and stuff. people would love you anyway just for being born.
yeah and they get to go to the bathroom anywhere they want outside. i can do that too but dogs don't have consequences when they do it. those little shits have had the good end of the stick for too long.
all they have to worry about is begging for attention and when they're gonna be fed next. doesn't taako have a spell that can make you a dog?? it'd probably only last like. an hour tops though.
ehhh if he turns me into one do i get the dog brain? or do i have all the same problems without having thumbs? i cant spend an hour as a mans brain in a dog body.
this doesn't count as spoilers. you didn't learn to dance in like two hours. unless you did?? fuck if i know.
[Who's got two thumbs and doesn't know shit about what happened in said two hours Merle was back home for? Magnus Burnsides.
Well, he kinda knows some stuff. Vaguely. He remembers the image of himself in a red robe, but everything he was starting to remember past that? Totally gone. Lup and Barry are two mysteries Magnus is far from cracking, meanwhile. He's no world's greatest detective, and the Tres Horny Boys are the closest friends who never told each other nothing.]
nah it's a whole thing. boring expositional shit. anyway if you dig it i can teach you! interpretive jazz. invented it myself. they called me professor merle
[ if it's ever time to sit down and try to explain everything to magnus instead of letting incriminating stuff slip without thinking about it at some point, then merle's calling 1-2-3 not it. ]
uh, sure. i'm very bad at dancing. i mean i know how to do the macarena and i can crank that soulja boy. the cupid shuffle. electric slide. all those good good dances. but i don't know how to interpret jazz.
trade secret, soulja boy. it doesn't matter if the audience can't interpret what you do with your jazz! all that matters is if YOU can interpret what you're doing. and now i kinda want to do the macarena. but you can't just macarena at 3am.
[ OR CAN YOU. 50/50 chance he will in fact get out of bed to do the macarena. ]
well, as long as you can teach me how to do the interpreting. kinda sucks we don't really have, like, music? here?? it's like the door is dodging bards left and right.
you'll pick it up fast it's fine. i didn't even think about the music. but you're right. this party needs a little bard action! the dancing music kind not that profound shit that makes people cry.
there's probably one SOMEWHERE in this city. maybe one that plays a banjo. can you jazz dance to banjo music? wait i thought you were the big chesney fan, how does that match up with interpretive jazz??
is there a stereotype about dwarves liking chesney????????
[First he realizes he's only friends with one elf, now he thinks he's making assumptions about dwarven music taste. Fuck, how does this keep happening?]
maybe there is!! what do you have to say about that
[ but sadly because merle rolled too low to be a successful liar, magnus may hear him laughing however many rooms over he is. everything is funnier at 3 in the morning, okay. ]
[Magnus is about to apologize profusely, but then he hears that laughter, and he just. Looks very unimpressed at his phone. If you could see his face, Merle, you would know that he is not mad. Just disappointed.]
yeah, somehow, i think the 'maybe' is more like 'maybe not'?? might just be a hunch. come on, merle. i'd like to think i'm conscious about not being human-biased. or at least i try very hard to be. i just realized the other day i have like one, maybe two elf friends and it's making me very concerned about myself.
you're shittin me. look kid just think about it like quality over quantity. why have 100 shitty elf friends instead of maybe 2 ok ones? youd probably jump over a waterfall to save someone crappy anyway. and youd be so noble about it that me and taako would have to help. and then theyd shoot my cousin and a whole town would blow up because theyre a bad friend.
i gueeeesss?? the second part of that tracks. that sounds like something that would happen. i don't know, it was something lup said that made me realize i don't even know the first thing about elves even though i of all people should??
["Something Lup said" meaning she clowned on him so hard he's still thinking about it.]
i dont remember anything about them either and im supposed to be the medic around here!
[ Oh god he's a biologist. He's gonna have to think on that in the daylight hours, he's positive he must actually remember some important deets. ]
look you cant force diversity into your social circle. you gotta hold out for that natural fit. and if you wanna know more about elves youre out of luck because the only two we know here lie like its their job. its part of their charm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text at 3am
this is everything
magnus hits a good existential target with the first half, and by the second half, merle's already committed to reading the damn thing. ]
well i am NOW
if i was born a dog i wouldn't even have to think about it the other way around. i'd just be a dog
i live to serve
you wouldn't have to think about anything but whose butt to sniff and when your next treat is coming.
you wouldn't even have to be a smart dog that knows tricks and stuff.
people would love you anyway just for being born.
no subject
and they get to go to the bathroom anywhere they want outside.
i can do that too but dogs don't have consequences when they do it.
those little shits have had the good end of the stick for too long.
no subject
doesn't taako have a spell that can make you a dog??
it'd probably only last like. an hour tops though.
no subject
if he turns me into one do i get the dog brain? or do i have all the same problems without having thumbs? i cant spend an hour as a mans brain in a dog body.
no subject
i don't know how your guys' magicky stuff works. i'm just the guy that rips arms off.
no subject
both of which i'm damn good at. for the record.
no subject
show me!!!
no subject
loses a little substance without the leotard but i bet i can make do!
no subject
unless you did?? fuck if i know.
[Who's got two thumbs and doesn't know shit about what happened in said two hours Merle was back home for? Magnus Burnsides.
Well, he kinda knows some stuff. Vaguely. He remembers the image of himself in a red robe, but everything he was starting to remember past that? Totally gone. Lup and Barry are two mysteries Magnus is far from cracking, meanwhile. He's no world's greatest detective, and the Tres Horny Boys are the closest friends who never told each other nothing.]
no subject
[ if it's ever time to sit down and try to explain everything to magnus instead of letting incriminating stuff slip without thinking about it at some point, then merle's calling 1-2-3 not it. ]
no subject
i mean i know how to do the macarena and i can crank that soulja boy.
the cupid shuffle.
electric slide.
all those good good dances. but i don't know how to interpret jazz.
no subject
all that matters is if YOU can interpret what you're doing.
and now i kinda want to do the macarena. but you can't just macarena at 3am.
[ OR CAN YOU. 50/50 chance he will in fact get out of bed to do the macarena. ]
no subject
kinda sucks we don't really have, like, music? here?? it's like the door is dodging bards left and right.
no subject
i didn't even think about the music. but you're right.
this party needs a little bard action!
the dancing music kind not that profound shit that makes people cry.
no subject
maybe one that plays a banjo. can you jazz dance to banjo music?
wait i thought you were the big chesney fan, how does that match up with interpretive jazz??
no subject
and like anything! what i can only like chesney? you being a dwarf-ist?
[ merle think about the tattoo on your ass that either is or is not real, for even one moment, and understand why he would think that. ]
no subject
[First he realizes he's only friends with one elf, now he thinks he's making assumptions about dwarven music taste. Fuck, how does this keep happening?]
no subject
[ but sadly because merle rolled too low to be a successful liar, magnus may hear him laughing however many rooms over he is. everything is funnier at 3 in the morning, okay. ]
no subject
yeah, somehow, i think the 'maybe' is more like 'maybe not'??
might just be a hunch.
come on, merle. i'd like to think i'm conscious about not being human-biased. or at least i try very hard to be.
i just realized the other day i have like one, maybe two elf friends and it's making me very concerned about myself.
no subject
look kid just think about it like quality over quantity. why have 100 shitty elf friends instead of maybe 2 ok ones? youd probably jump over a waterfall to save someone crappy anyway. and youd be so noble about it that me and taako would have to help.
and then theyd shoot my cousin and a whole town would blow up because theyre a bad friend.
no subject
the second part of that tracks. that sounds like something that would happen.
i don't know, it was something lup said that made me realize i don't even know the first thing about elves even though i of all people should??
["Something Lup said" meaning she clowned on him so hard he's still thinking about it.]
no subject
[ Oh god he's a biologist. He's gonna have to think on that in the daylight hours, he's positive he must actually remember some important deets. ]
look you cant force diversity into your social circle.
you gotta hold out for that natural fit. and if you wanna know more about elves youre out of luck because the only two we know here lie like its their job. its part of their charm